Yield Not Unto Temptation – Sex and the Pulpit!

Clearly, while the Catholic Church today may be in the forefront of recent salacious commentary concerning the horrific abuse of children; mainline Protestant, Independent and Evangelical churches have also had their unholy share of sinful clerical abuse and public shame. Without doubt, the sexual abuse of parishioners by clergy is a major ethical problem today regardless of the abusers denomination.

Sexual abuse by pastors exhibits the same dynamic as incestuous abuse, which takes place within the context of an intimate relationship (family, church, counseling) between a presumably trustworthy and powerful person (a relative or minister) and a person who is vulnerable to and trusting of that power (a child or vulnerable adult). Victims of clerical sexual abuse often feel responsible or even blame for the abuser’s unconscionable activity and therefore feel bound in secrecy by a double burden of guilt and shame. Even if the victim were to speak up, she or he may not be believed. “How could this “Good and Godly person” ever commit such an unspeakable act?”

During my tenure in the ministry, I’ve personally found pastoral counseling to be one of a pastor’s professional tasks that would more likely offer opportunities for sexual abuse. In fact, numerous studies over the past decade support the research of pastoral counselor Dr. G. Lloyd Rediger, the author of MINISTRY AND SEXUALITY
Cases Counseling and Care, who contends that 10 percent of clergy are guilty of sexual malfeasance and another 15 percent, are approaching the line that veers off into the realm of sexual misconduct.

Along with an ever increasing number of allegations, reports of clergy sexual abuse involve broad areas of misconduct such as: long-standing affairs, homosexual liaisons, abuse of children, seduction of youth and vulnerable adults, inappropriate touching, and verbal and non-verbal sexual innuendos.

Dr. Rediger in his research has identified six specifics of sexual malfeasance:

• Sexual intercourse with persons outside of a marriage covenant.
• Oral sex with persons outside of a marriage covenant.
• Unwanted or inappropriate physical touch.
• Physical-sensual displays of the body or titillation of senses in suggestive ways.
• The use of pornography, individually or with others, to stimulate erotic fantasies.
• Verbal or visual contact with another person which implies or demands sexual response.

There also are numerous and varied ways to classify sexual abusers; with most observers of clergy abuse often listing as many as seven different abuser profiles, but here I’ll make a distinction between the most common of abusers; predators, wanderers, and a third type, the lover.

The Predator is a person acting as God’s representative who actively seeks opportunities to abuse women sexually. Targeting his prey, the predator pretends to be a caring pastor, using his power and position to manipulate his victims. The pastoral predator is manipulative, coercive, controlling, predatory, and sometimes violent. He may also be charming, bright, competent, and charismatic. He is attracted to powerlessness and vulnerability. He is not psychotic, but is usually sociopathic; that is, he has little or no sense of conscience about his offending behaviors. He usually will minimize, lie, and deny when confronted. For these abusers, the ministry presents an ideal opportunity for access to possible victims of all ages.”

In contrast to the predator, the Wanderer is not violent….not premeditated in his sexual abuse, and generally views himself as being less successful personally and professionally. Because he is a vulnerable and somewhat inadequate person, the wanderer easily becomes emotionally and sexually involved with a parishioner or counselee. The wanderer it appears “has difficulty establishing and maintaining boundaries in relationships and attempts to meet private needs in public arenas. The source for his sexual misbehavior is usually an equally needy woman who holds her minister in high regard, almost to the point of adoration. Once the sexual passions have subsided, both begin to feel anxiety, shame, guilt, and a sense of betrayal. The two express regret and swear themselves to secrecy. Although things seem to return to normal, a sacred trust has been dishonored and a shadow falls over their lives and relationships.

The Lover is another minister who enters the forbidden zone with a parishioner! This spiritual shepherd becomes infatuated with one of his flock. Though a sexual transgressor just like the other two, he is motivated neither by the desire to conquer nor the need to overcome personal inadequacies. Whether single or married, the minister knows a sex relationship with a church member is wrong and tries to guard against inappropriate behavior.

Although there is no stereotypical perpetrator of clergy sexual abuse, the distinction between predator, wanderer, and lover is insightful. The predator offender moves from conquest to conquest, leaving a trail of victims. The wanderer minister yields to temptation in a moment of crisis and immediately feels remorse over his failure. The romantic minister is drawn to a church member when his passion convinces him he is in love.

After we come to grasp the scope of the problem, a second necessary step is to understand the nature of clergy sexual misconduct. When a male minister exploits his privileged position for personal sexual satisfaction--whether seemingly innocent innuendos, obnoxious harassment, or actual contact--he has strayed into the “forbidden zone.” Clergy sexual misconduct is a violation of the integrity of the pastoral office, a betrayal of ordination vows. Regardless of how it happens, it is a betrayal of trust between pastor and people, which involves both an abuse of sexuality and an abuse of power.

Unmistakeably, any man who engages in the sexual abuse of female parishioners is sick, and in need of treatment and support. But legitimate concern for a pastor’s well-being should not draw support away from the women who are victimized by him. No one…minister, congregation or woman… escapes unharmed from the church’s failure to confront sexual abuse.

Clergy sexual abuse also raises many other important questions. What is its impact on victims and churches? How can sexual abuse be prevented? Is restoration possible for fallen ministers? How should churches and denominations respond? What are the legal implications? The ethical problem is many-sided. Understanding the issue is vital, but it is only the beginning.


Yield Not To Temptation